The Ponderings of Dizzz

I never imagined how horrible pre-teen years can be for a parent. These young people, not yet adults, seem to think that their way is the only way and GOD help you if they don’t get it. My daughter is a primo example of this. When she was a small child, she was sweet, loving and agreeable. All she wanted was hugs, kisses and some quality time. Now this once adorable child is argumentative, disrespectful and just plain mean at times. In her defense, she was spoiled and coddled. I suppose I felt it made up for it just being her and me. Now her family has been extended to include a stepfather and baby brother, plus my husband’s family. She is growing up, and with that I have made a realization that she needs to be reined in, because she seems to not want to listen to anyone of authority. But how does one balance reining in and not alienating your child?

The jealousy of her new (18 months) brother is understandable; she was always the baby and was the center of attention. She loves him, don’t misunderstand, but the underlying “hate” is there. She is trying to be her own person at the same time, so I try to allow her to grow in her own direction to an extent. I was never a really strict parent maybe that is where I went wrong. I think everyone has at least once said “I won’t be like that when “I” am a parent.” But in the end as a parent you realize you can’t always be their “friend”. Sometimes it is tough love time. My daughter has been having “tough love” for a while now.

How far is too far discipline wise? What do you do when nothing works, and the child still does not listen? Therapy perhaps?? Trying it, but it is not working all that well. (Subject for a blog another time). In today’s society we have created fearless teens. you get punished for punishing them. When I was a child, I got my rear-end beat if I was disrespectful. Oh it hurt, but it taught me not to repeat said behavior. Now if you spank a child you could loose the child due to the laws surrounding the idea of punishment. Time Outs??? Give me a freaking break here! It doesn’t work people; I hate to burst your proverbial bubbles. We have a society of disrespectful punks out there who could probably benefit from a red rear-end.

But I sway from the root of the topic. Even though she does get the needed punishments as needed, (lost her dvd player, PS2, and phone from her room) sometimes she gets nice things done for her. She wanted to cut her hair short during the holidays. “Fine, it is your hair”, I said. This is true and I hated when my mother chose my haircuts. So she has had this hip new do for a half a year. Now she wants to grow it out but…. DUN DUN DUN…. She would really like to color the tips of her bangs pink…… I am not THAT cool. Pink??? No way! A compromise perhaps? How about light brown??? How about we see how much this excursion will cost? Surprisingly, it was really quite affordable. So FC, if you read this, your niece has highlighted bang tips, prepare yourself on Friday!