The Ponderings of Dizzz

Let me start off with saying that after watching this in its entirety, I felt like my intelligence level must have dropped at least 10 - 20 points; it put it simply, I felt dumber. It started off really slowly, and I am not happy with the way it ended. However in retrospect, after a good night's sleep (and re watching the preview), it had its funny moments. It think the preview has every funny scene in it, so i could have just watched that last night and got a bigger laugh than I did.After seeing my summation, perhaps you will understand why I was personally vastly disappointed (my husband LOVED it). The theme around this movie seems to be paranoia, because they are all looking over their shoulders, everyone is following everyone else, etc.

SPOILER ALERT ~ SUMMARY OF MOVIE AHEAD

DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS AND WANT TO BE SURPRISED

OK, here goes. The story is about this government type, Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich) who gets a demotion, so he quits to write his memoirs. His wife is a cold-hearted snob who is banging another married government-type, Harry Pfarrer (George Clooney) and decides she is going to divorce Ozzy and gets his "financial information" from his computer. I am thinking she must have downloaded everything on there due to what happens. The disk gets left in a women's locker room at "Hardbodies Gym", where Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand), Chad Feldheimer (Brad Pitt) and Ted Treffon (Richard Jenkins) work. They find the disk and keep it instead of trying to find the person who lost it at the gym.

Linda is a aging woman, searching the web for her "dream man". The health insurance won't pay for her "redefining herself" plastic surgery (SHOCKER). Chad and Linda decide they are going to blackmail Ozzy for this information, because it looks like "secret government shit". In the meanwhile we find out that Harry is a complete perv who is Internet dating several women and banging others besides Ozzy's wife, telling them all he "adores them baby". He and Linda hook up.

Ozzy refuses to pay for this CD and Linda decides they need to go to the Russian embassy to try to get money for the "secrets". She tells them she has more information, which is a lie, and sends Chad off to get more from Ozzy's computer. Ozzy is now living on the boat, and Harry and Katie Cox (Ozzy's wife) are at the house. Chad sneaks in while they are gone, Harry returns and as Chad surprises him from being found in the closet, Harry shoots him dead, and dumps the body in the river. Harry is really freaked out at this point and leaves Katie.

Meanwhile, Linda can't find Chad (DUH), and gets a bit freaked so she sends her boss Ted to gather the information instead. Since he is in love with her for some godawful reason, he goes. She however doesn't think he will and goes to Harry (LMAO this part was so funny), for help to find her friend. He offers to help and asks where he was last heading, and realized it is the guy he killed. Freaked out, he runs off. Ozzy returns to the house for revenge against his wife because she took all his money from his bank account. He finds Ted on his computer, shoots at him and chases him outside where he killed him with an axe.

The last scene is in a government office (there is another scene in here earlier but I'll sum up all they say in this part). Turns out these memoirs are garbage, Ozzy had low security clearance. They were following him the whole movie, and dispose of chad and Ted's bodies, send Harry off to Venezuela, and shoot Ozzy (during his killing Ted) so he is now in a Coma, all to dispose of any evidence of what happened. They pay off Linda by paying for her surgeries. THE END.

I was like WTF??? Why does this bitch get what she wants after she is the reason all these deaths (which she does not know about of course) occurred?? Are you serious??? Do you think I am being overly harsh? I mean there were some funny moments, and Brad Pitt was a freaking RIOT, I mean every time I saw him in a scene I cracked up, his character was that funny! I also left out the part about how Harry was being followed all the time as well; turns out his wife had him tailed for divorce purposes (he deserved it he was screwing around with like 4 women at one time).